Behavior Modification Program Teen News
It's a beautiful day in the neighborhood, the neighborhood, won't you be my neighbor? Ahh....*pleasureful sigh* a lil Mr. Rogers to brighten your day. Teehee. Before we discuss my day...who commented on my last blog entry? Your comment was both inspirational to me and sad...I can't figure out the exact meaning and I wanna know who wrote it and if they meant it towards me or what!!??? AUGH! "Stop tormenting that man" Well make that woman, and my To Kill A Mockingbird Quote will be accurate. I've almost finished that for Mr. Orlopp's LEAP class. LEAP was interesting today...we had all sorts of lovely debates. Mr. O didn't participate cuz' he would prbly get in major trouble wit the school. It was about abortion...I personally believe prochoice. Now nobody freak out on me...that is MY belief, and I just wanted you to know. No debates in my comment box puhleez. AnYwAyS...everyone was wearing their mums and garters today and it was soo cuh-ute. Obviously I didn't have one: EXCEPT THE COOLEST ONE IN THE WORLD MADE ON NOTEBOOK PAPER BY MY LOVER SAMANTHA!!! Yeah yuh, that's what I said! lol. And my lil flute section one. BTW...Myers made the then oboe DUET into an oboe SOLO and has yet to pick which one of us is playing. I don't wanna play it cuz I suck it...but then again I do cuz I don't wanna learn the entire opener in my mela spot..that's like...*thinks to self* 29 sets! DEAR GOD! And I still haven't learned the second so more like 39. *sniffle* Jeff's a dork...what a loser...JK JK! I wuv oo! howard duckjdb: well u have a lover Aight...well I have to go get ready for the game. How fun fun. Suspenders and pimpin marching band hat! *ow ow* Yeah, ain't I the hottest thing u eva seen baby??? lol. I'm hyper if you can't tell. Just had some of my bro's left over birthday cake...yuuuuuuuuuummmmmy. Well I love you all! I am decorating the caff tomorrow for HC dance from 9-12. Anyone can help if they want to. Come up to the school and visit me please!!! I would love you forever! *mwah* ~Shey~ Ok well today was a frigging awesome day but I only have 10 minutes to write this so I gotta hurry. basically I realized I am beating myself up over someone else being a major ass hole and not knowing when he's crossed a line. I'm never going to cry again over this stupid shit.It's not fair to myself, and it brings my friends down with me...and AUGH. I need to be smarter, really I do. NEWAYS: homecoming parade was today. For fish council we totally got warned to make a float last week so it was REALLY last minute but it looked cute so w/e. We ate more candy than we threw to the lil kids...who btw are stupid little brats. I heard a 6 year old screaming 'GIVE ME CANDY GODDAMMIT!" I was like wooooah! Double Take! Then big community pep rally mostly spent giving Kevin a back and head massage. Then playing with Nick Spurrier's soooooooooooft hair *second only to Kevin* And Dawson...my lovely lil Dawson: pervert pervert pervert. Oh well...I still love him. DawsonsCreeks89: i liked ur shirt today Oboewitattitude: why? DawsonsCreeks89: It made you look like you had huge boobs DawsonsCreeks89: lol so maybe i can see em some day;-):-P:-*
Blah...augh my font change. Stupid compy. Neways....day was good. Maybe tomorrow will be better. Cept I will see all the ppl with their mums and garters and will be sad I have no boyfriend...but then again, I prbly won't all year so I gotta get used to it. Well..love you all! ~Shey~
When will it all end... Well...today was alright I guess. Definitely not an improvement...probably worse actually...but eh, what can I do, what can I do. Let's see...it was dress like a movie star day and I was put up to looking like Lindsay Lohan (cuz' don't we all know I have gigantic boobs and a size 12 pants. lol) so I dressed like she did in Mean Girls. Plaid short skirt, hooker heels, red low cut top, bell around neck, and santa hat (ANNY! You had BETTER give that back!). It was boot camps instead of prison
Judy started calling me Santa's hooker and Sam decided on Santa's little whore. It was no different than what I usually am called. *sigh* lol. No worries...no worries...that's the least of my probs. I skipped about half of geometry crying in the bathroom. Chris walked right by me before the class and help troubled teens new york
Brooke a huge hug and talking to her, never looking back at me like I was invisible. I'm not known to be the wallflower so yeah it was just crappy. And luckily Mrs. Blanton could tell something was wrong and she was just like "Whatever you need to do, just go, it's ok" Losing your best friend is hard...So yeah...then I got back to class and worked on my review while everyone else was watching Annie. I snuck my head phones on under my santa hat and listened to "Dear Jaime...Sincerely Me" and my SugarCult CD. Then FOOD TIME...went and ate my lunch in the caff then hung out and watched marching band videos in my second home. The Cavaliers are so freakin awesome! They are amazing. AnYwAyS...not too much else happened. I think I failed my LEAP test which is bad cuz they are like 70% of the grade. Fuck that...don't wanna community services for troubled teens
about it. Umm...now we are all over here having a surprise party for my bro. It's like Kyle, Bryce, Phillip, Matt, Jeff, Amanda...ppl. lol. We are watching there Samarui video...wow special. AwEsOmEnEsS...ok outing now. Love ya lots!
~Shey~ military school for unruly teenagersWishing... Well today was another depressing waste of time for the most part. I slept through most of geometry and geography. Go military schools in st. louis missouri
it just had to be the two classes I most needed to pay attention in. And I also zoned out a lot while talking to people and doing things...then I would come back from "The Shey Land of Rainbows and Chocolate" and not remember what had been going on. So people would down's syndrome and behavior modification
angry/frustrated with me. [sigh]. How come when I need them most, my friends can't understand and be there for me? I think that they don't know how. They've never been through military school summer camps
kind of thing before, and really, they should be grateful for that. Right now there is a GIGANTIC pile of homework on my bed. It's grinning flirtaciously and screaming "DO ME! DO ME!" hahaha. Shey's random humor of the day- enjoy it while it lasts- get it while it's hot. lol. = ) Let's see...after school I went to a STUCO meeting with my Mae Moo. Nothing too important there...I've gotta help set up for the homecoming dance on Saturday morning. Goddamit. I don't WANT to go to frigging homecoming. It will be a bunch of people asking me to dance and me turning every single one of them down cuz I am thinking of someone else. The ironies of life. Then meeting wit Myers about music colleges. Cuz I wanna major in music education...and I want to go to U.W. Greenbay bought I found out they don't offer majors...so I dunno. The entire time I was also distracted by certain signs on certain slots. Which by the way: I'M NOT THE ONE TEARING THEM DOWN! As for the title of this..."Wishing"...I'm just wishing I had never allowed myself to get so close to someone who could hurt me so easily. Shows how naive I really am. But then again, I am just a stupid fish with no place in life. I should go hang myself in a closet...but ahh, I like a challenge, and that dear friends, would be much too easy.
Leaving you thinking... ~Shey~
*ouch* Rain Thunder crashing Lightning flashing Rain is falling down Make up dripping Clothes are stripping Lying on the ground Vulnerable and senseless Naked and defenseless I cry because of you Filled with bitter hatred Passion that is sacred The sky is crying too military school ontario are bleeding I'm succeeding In the pain I cause Eyes dilated Thoughts sedated special scool for troubled teens of the law Hurting and confused Sadistic and amused Staring at the sky Very short of breath In need of useful rest You keep walking though I cry And yet the sky cries too And all because of you
Ok so yeah...this entry is directed at someone who knows damn well who they are. A sign on your slot...mature. Talking about marine boot camp easy
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I am across the room from you. Treating my innermost boot camp boolean terms search like they are nothing and you're the only one who's allowed to be sensitive. And then finding out you thought it triumphant you made me cry on Saturday. And through it all...though you treat me like shit...my feelings for you are unchanging. I relly shouldn't be writing this...you've made it clear you want nothing to do with me. And I honestly don't think you truly know what you want. Look at your relationship...look at your life...you've got some things to figure out before you deal with me. So I guess that's why you pushed me aside like a toy you're tired of playing with. Cuz in a sense that's what you did after all...played with my head. But w/e...I'm just venting. I really don't know half of what I'm saying...pretend I'm not here like you did all day...
~Shey
What a shitty day... Holy fuck. Sorry for my unruly french but yesterday was HORRIBLE. So so so so many things went wrong for every one thing that tried to go right. AUGH!!! *rips out hair* Let's see...so I went to marching practice at 12:00 without eating lunch (big mistake cuz i was super hungry till we had dinner that night). Practice was great though...we got compliments from Myers AND Quinlan *MAJOR rarity for those that don't know* on how the oboe solo sounded. Then we had inspection and got all ready and stuff. We were sitting around talking and I mention to my friend Kim that this chick ******** is spreading around that I am the freshman slut. And she bluntly decides to tell me "Oh, well I know a lot of people who call you that Shey. Cuz' you hang out with the upperclassmen a lot and you're really flirty and outgoing" So apparently at FMHS these qualities *or should i say personality flaws?!* are enough to give you a rep. as a whore. Then my friend Maegan tells me that her entire POD in the marching show agreed how much of a tramp I am a few weeks ago. GRRRRR. Ok...I know I shouldn't care and I really wish I was strong enough to say that I didn't...but a huge part of me is saying that I do not want this reputation at all because I can't live up to it and I'm not going to live up to it so why the incorrect label? I don't know. {sigh} Then...Chris and I were sitting in the back of the bus and apparently the chaperone has to sit there so we got kicked into different sides in the front of the bus (and basically the same thing happened on the way back too). We get to the competition...everything is going great we're having fun...our performance blows. The pit came in a beat early so the entire solo was off...somehow Andrew (drum major) fixed it by adding two beats but the entire first segment was shot to hell. The other two were ok but ppl kept yelling at me and Bailey and blaming everything on us so it was a shitty afternoon. Somehow we STILL managed to get 4th in prelims tho. Then we had dinner (which was really good- chik'fil'a sandwiches, chips, and coke) and got ready to perform again. Our second performance...ROCKED! Omg it was so amazing and we all had a huge energy buzz after. The solo was perfect all the lines were straight, things went RIGHT. But we walked away moving two places down to 6th and not getting best in music. That hurt for all of us. We deserved better....oh well. And to top the bad day off I come home and am talking to a friend online and they accuse me of being angry at them and not being straightforward with them about it. This was total bull shit and whoever told it to them and made it up deserves to jump off a cliff. My friend made me cry because I couldn't get them to believe that I wasn't lying. Well friend, I am sorry for whatever it is I did that upset you so much. I couldn't sleep last night...i was listening to Corantine and Dear Jaime Sincerely Me and it was just making it worse. I am sorry sorry sorry sorry...and especially sorry that I stress you out so much that it makes you wanna get drunk .That out of all of this is the worst part...ok...well, this is super long now and I needed to go think some things over. Call me if you need me.... ~Shey~ MILITARY SCHOOL IN COLORADOExperimentation with this bloggy thingy... well...my rents absolutely HATED my xanga b/c it wasn't exactly...er..."appropriate" persay so i will have to try and do better with this thingy. it's now my online journal. my simple lil way to vent about the day and the shit i go through without people being majorly judgemental to my face. i don't really prefer u do it behind my back either...but w/e floats ur boat. i am MAJORLY tired right now. last night we had a football game out in the colony but it started lightning everywhere so we ended up hanging in the field house for a good hour or so. we were playing games i hadn't played since elementary school. we did this one thing where someone stands really straight and gets tossed around a circle in people's arms. it's hard to explain but it was sooo much fun. we got Myers to do it! THAT was AwEsOmE!! myers is the coolest band director ever for anyone that cares. = ) lol. then we eventually ended up back at the school *muddy and sweaty and gross mind you* and i went to get Wendy's wit Chris and Carl. That was great other than all the SMOKE outside Starbucks *cough cough* jk jk. I love you! lol. Then I went home and watched TV for a long time and ended up talking to Chris on the phone until 3:00 AM while he was playing video games. Oh how very exciting...lol. Now I need to go get ready for the all day marching competition we have today. Chris, prepare to be pillowatized cuz I'm gonna sleep through most of it! And I'm off...
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